Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
