please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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