He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
