I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
