thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
