Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hippo gnu deer
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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