I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
