What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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