doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
