So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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