Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
