So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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