Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize