I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
