I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
