A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
