Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
time to smoke my breakfast
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
