It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
