Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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