idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
