I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the day after is always just damage control
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
