im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
