If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
