oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
