GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
