if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
