we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
