Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
