I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All I want is dick and wine.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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