I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
