hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
