Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How naked do you want me to be?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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