Plan B is the new Plan A
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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