I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
