every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When are your genitals available?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
