dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
