Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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