it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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