The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
