i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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