ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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