So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
