thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
