you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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