My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
handjob tips. give me some.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
