Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize