apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
