I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
