Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
my liver is dry heaving
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
