This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
