Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
