Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
where am i from again
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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