My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
