i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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