Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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