just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
