Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
