Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i will never coherently bang her
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
