FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
