I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize