Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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