We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
