lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
