This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
