you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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