Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
is it fun? or sober?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
