so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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