thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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