But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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