Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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