The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
