Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well you can't waste a boner
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
